States of Being: The What Why and How of Coaching Urgent School Leaders
The Why
To ensure you are responding to your colleague’s needs rather than your own
Supporting States of Being
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See the Higher Self: Coach to assets. Honor Story: Listen. Be Curious: Ask nonjudgmental questions. Be present: Remain unattached to the outcome. Everyone has a Piece of the Truth: Gather Perspectives.Imbue others with their own intelligence: Help them connect the Dots. Be Compassionate: Walk in their shoes. Be Bold: Hold their hand while holding their feet to the fire. Acknowledge Mystery: Trust intuition.
The How
Step 1
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Begin with Self: Am I actively addressing/practicing the 7 Essential Equity Questions?
Step 2
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Inhale 4 counts/exhale 8 counts
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Before you begin, imagine the person at her best: a moment that you saw her succeeding
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Inhale wisdom/ exhale love
Step 3
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Listen
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Ensure you are focused on the individual’s development, not your need to be right.
Step 5
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Check in with your feelings before offering a response to see if you are feeling emotionally triggered or if judgment is rising
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Silently name the emotion or judgment so it doesn’t eclipse thinking
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Breathe to reset and remind yourself of your objective
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Refocus
Close by asking: What's clearer to you now?
This protocol works with students, too.
Potential Traps
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Allowing your ego to drive your responses
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Needing to be right
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Being impatient
In each State of Being, I will toggle among pronouns She, They, and He.
States of Being. Linda Belans, EdD
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