States of Being: The What Why and How of Coaching Urgent School Leaders

Notice Repetition: Interrupt Patterns

The Why

To help your colleague break patterns that may be interfering with progress or success

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Supporting States of Being

• See the Higher Self: Coach to assets. Honor Story: Listen. Be Curious: Ask nonjudgmental questions. Imbue others with their own intelligence. Help them connect the dots. Quiet the Ego: Check in before checking out. Be Compassionate: Walk in their shoes. Be Bold: Hold their hand while holding their feet to the fire. Be Present: Remain unattached to outcome.

The How

Step 1

• Begin with Self: Am I actively addressing/practicing the 7 Essential Equity Questions?

• Imagine the person at a moment when you saw her* succeeding.

• Inhale 4 counts/exhale 8 counts:

• Breathe in listen/breathe out  compassion or love

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 Step 2

• Listen and watch for recurring patterns of behavior that may be interfering with progress

• Acknowledge the beauty of patterns that once served but now interfere with effectiveness

• Be kind, empathetic, and bold

• Name the pattern for the individual so she can begin to recognize it.

• Name the specific impact the patterned behavior is having

• Patterns are usually old behaviors. Check to see if she recognizes the pattern: it’s only important that she understands the origin of this pattern, and doesn’t have to share that information

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Step 3

• Assist her in finding a replacement for the behavior

• Practice using the replacement behavior

Close by asking: What's clearer to you now?

Potential Traps

• Wanting to fix the colleague

• Being judgmental

• Asking for personal information about the history of the pattern

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*In each State of Being, I will toggle among pronouns She, They, and He.

Copyrighted by Linda Belans and used with her permission.