States of Being: The What Why and How of Coaching Urgent School Leaders
The Why
To help your colleague break patterns that may be interfering with progress or success
Supporting States of Being
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See the Higher Self: Coach to assets. Honor Story: Listen. Be Curious: Ask nonjudgmental questions. Imbue others with their own intelligence. Help them connect the dots. Quiet the Ego: Check in before checking out. Be Compassionate: Walk in their shoes. Be Bold: Hold their hand while holding their feet to the fire. Be Present: Remain unattached to outcome.
The How
Step 1
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Begin with Self: Am I actively addressing/practicing the 7 Essential Equity Questions?
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Imagine the person at a moment when you saw her* succeeding.
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Inhale 4 counts/exhale 8 counts:
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Breathe in listen/breathe out compassion or love
Step 2
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Listen and watch for recurring patterns of behavior that may be interfering with progress
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Acknowledge the beauty of patterns that once served but now interfere with effectiveness
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Be kind, empathetic, and bold
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Name the pattern for the individual so she can begin to recognize it.
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Name the specific impact the patterned behavior is having
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Patterns are usually old behaviors. Check to see if she recognizes the pattern: it’s only important that she understands the origin of this pattern, and doesn’t have to share that information
Step 3
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Assist her in finding a replacement for the behavior
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Practice using the replacement behavior
Close by asking: What's clearer to you now?
Potential Traps
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Wanting to fix the colleague
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Being judgmental
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Asking for personal information about the history of the pattern
*In each State of Being, I will toggle among pronouns She, They, and He.
Copyrighted by Linda Belans and used with her permission.